209 | "Everyone else is doing better than I am." Tangible tips to conquer comparisonitis as a professional organizer

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Written By Melissa Klug

Conquering Comparisonitis: Overcoming Social Media Traps and Boosting Your Business Productivity

 

It's October TO-DO list time in your business--but first, we're talking about a huge block a lot of organizers have, which is comparing yourself against other organizers!

 

I'm talking 'comparisonitis'—the unhealthy habit of comparing yourself to others on social media—and offers practical advice to overcome it. Strategies include muting social media triggers, focusing on personal business goals, and "using your own yardstick." 

 

As October rolls in, I am encouraging organizers to make the most of the last three months of the year. There is a lot to focus on!

00:00 Welcome to the Pro Organizer Studio Podcast 

02:04 The October To-Do List for Your Business

03:22 Understanding and Overcoming Comparisonitis

16:20 Strategies to Combat Comparisonitis

23:35 Maximizing the Last Three Months of the Year

28:07 Boss October: Shoring Up Your Life and Business

29:37 Wrapping Up and Future Opportunities

31:04 Free Workshop and BYE!

You can listen here, read the full transcript below, or find us on Apple, Spotify, or anywhere you love to listen to podcasts!

LINKS FOR LISTENERS

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Hey, pro organizers. My name is Melissa Klug and you are listening to the Pro Organizer Studio Podcast. Professional organizing changed my entire life. After 20 years of working at huge companies, I started working for myself. I opened a professional organizing business, grew it to six figures, and I never looked back.

Now I get to spend all day, every day teaching organizers around the world. How to find clients, how to market and sell yourselves, how to turn this business into what you want it to be. Whether you have been in business for 15 minutes or 15 years, you have a home at Pro Organizer Studio. I'm excited that you're here.

Let's get started.

Melissa Klug: Hey pro organizers. It's Melissa. Listen, I know that I probably just sound incredibly basic, but it's October, which is like my prime time of life. I love crisp weather and I love sleeping with the windows open when it's chilly and I love sweaters and sweatshirts. 

And I know this is just basic stuff. I sound like a trite Instagram post, but. It was like a Hallmark movie at my house this week, you guys. Like September 30th was warm, verging on hot. And then all of a sudden it was like a movie set showed up. And the next day I woke up and it was crisp and I got to wear sweatshirt. And the leaves started to change and there were like leaves on the ground and I'm like, October is here. 

But one of the reasons I like October is not just because the weather, and sweaters, but—I do love sweaters. It is because we have three months left of the year. And one of the things that I see a lot is, especially when you go into November and December, people are like, oh, things aren't busy. 

It's the holidays. A lot of things are going on. Like I'm going to take the gas off. And then all of a sudden it's January and you're like, oh my gosh, I have to get everything going again. And sometimes when you kind of let things go, it's harder to get them ramped back up. So I want to give you a little bit of an October to do list today of things that I want you to work on in your business. But I'm also going to talk about something else that I think is really important that really doesn't have anything to do with like a list of things to do. 

It's just something that I want you to think about. So I'm going to start with that one. Because this one is really important and it was based on a conversation I had with someone that is an amazing organizer, has an amazing business. And I just want to talk it through, so let's get to it.

You know, typically I'm more on the train of like, Hey, I want to give you concrete. Things to do in your business. I like giving people, Hey, here's your list of three things that I want you to do. And I want you to think about this and I want you to think about this. 

But it is also really important as business owners. That we think about some of the more global things, our mindset, how we approach our business, what are some blocks that are in place? 

And I'm going to be talking a lot more about blocks because I see them a lot. And it's really easy by the way. I have tons of blocks myself, and I'd be happy to articulate them for you, but it's easy for me to see when someone has a block where they're like, Nope, I'm not going to think about this. Even if I know it's like the best thing for them. And so one of the biggest blocks that I want to talk about today that I want you to really carefully evaluate in your organizing business. Is one that I just call simply comparisonitis. It's a cutesy phrase for something that really isn't cute at all. Which is basically this feeling of everyone else is doing better than I am. Every other organizer has a better business than I do. 

Everybody else is doing X, Y, Z. I should be doing that too. It's looking around you and maybe kind of rejecting your own core, you know, not core values, but rejecting what you know is good for you and your business, because you are trying to live up to being someone else. 

The reason that I am. Really wanting to talk about this today. Is because I had an organizer recently who is a great, very successful organizer with a very great business. Who said. Basically, why am I even bothering? All these people are doing so much better than I am. And she was talking about people that she had seen recently who were, you know, really talking about how great their businesses were and, and all of those things. 

And so she felt less than. Because she had seen these other people and interpreted. Everybody's doing better than I am. And that hit me like a ton of bricks because this person has a great business and so many things to be proud of. She wants to grow it, which is awesome. And I am excited to help her do that, but her existing business is already pretty great, but she still feels like maybe she's a little bit less than everybody else.

Yeti Stereo Microphone-2: By the way she has the kind of business that other people are probably looking at and going, Hey, that looks like a great business and she's going great. So this is just your reminder. Everybody has these feelings and you might be the person that other people have those feelings about while you're busy, compare yourself to someone else.

Yeti Stereo Microphone-1: And that's why I want to talk about it because I believe with every fiber of my being. That the biggest reason this happens. And I know that maybe you are tired of me talking about my feelings about social media, but they are so. Integral to what we do in this business. The reason comparisonitis exists in our life. 

So not only in our business, but in our life is because 99% of the time, I was going to say a hundred percent, but like, you know, It's not really a hundred percent, but it's like 99.892%. The comments that I get. By the way, this person that told me this last week, they're not the first person to tell me they feel this way. 

They will not be the last person to tell me this, that they feel this way. And I am honored that people trust me when they say that to me, because I know that's a vulnerable moment to have to say, I feel like everyone else is doing better than me. But this feeling almost 100% of time. Comes because you are looking at other people. On social on Instagram, on Facebook, whatever. That you perceive are doing things that are better than you, or more important than you, or more impactful or bigger, or any of those things. And I just want to remind you. Uh, you know, we all have those people. In our lives, all of us do. Where you go, you know, they might be very close friends of yours and you see what they're posting on social media. And then you're like, but I, I know the actual story. 

I know the behind the scenes. Um, I for sure know someone in my life, in my personal life. Who postings and I'm like, girl, I have all of your texts, receipts. Of all of these things. That you're saying that do not align with what I am seeing you face forward. Uh, and it literally, as, as I am recording this, it happened me today. I'm going to read this. Verbatim. I sent a text message to a client of mine. A long ago, client whom I'm friends with on social media. 

And I have not seen her in a while and I always really loved her. And so I said, Hey, I just want to let you know. I think about you a lot. And I see you on social media. Everything I've seen on Facebook, it looks like you're just really happy. And doing well, and I'm so happy for you. Her literal reply. 

I am reading it to you from my phone. Um, yeah, no, my social media is 100% BS, LOL. Okay. That is a direct quote. Am I saying that all social media is, is crap? No, I genuinely believe that there are people out there who are telling a real story. But 

here's the reminder that I want to give you. Is that you do not have remotely a complete story. On social media about anything. Whether it is personal professional, anything else? You know, those pictures that we all take at our clients where we're like, oh, this, this pantry looks great. This closet looks great. 

This toy room looks great. You take that photo. And you are, and by the way, it feels great to have that photo. It especially feels great. If you have a before photo to compare it against you and be like, man, look at how good I am at my job. But. Think about that picture and then think about when you go back to their house two weeks later. And real life has intervened. there's a picture from home, edit that I use in presentations to groups about organizing. And, I always use it because it's a picture of, of course, you know, beautifully rainbow arranged crayons. 

And I say, Hey, I want moms in the group to tell me how long does that, how long did that. Crayon box looked like that. And most people answer like one second. Okay. That's just a reminder that social media is a picture of one moment in time and you do not have the full story. 

Melissa Klug: You do not know how many clients that person actually has. You do not know anything about. Their business. You don't know how much money that they're making, how much money they are spending and expenses. You don't know if they maybe have a safety net. Of something else that is supporting them. And this is a hobby where it is your full-time job.

Yeti Stereo Microphone-1: You don't know if the house that they're in is a house that they Airbnb to house of a friend of theirs or a client. You do not know if that picture was from yesterday or three years ago. You don't know anything about the real story? 

Success is absolutely. Individual. And it is not governed by what other people are doing. 

Melissa Klug: If you are a solo organizer, but you are measuring your success and looking at someone who has teams in three different states. You are measuring, using a completely different yardstick. If you are doing organizing as a part time looking to move full time. And you're measuring yourself up against someone who has done this full-time for 10 years. That yard sick. 

Isn't the same. Your success is based on how you are measuring up toward your own personal goals. Whether those are financial, whether it is just time spent doing something that you enjoy. Whether it is just, I want to start a business and I feel compelled. I'd like to turn this into something bigger. it may be. 

I would like to just have one client a month that I can help get organized. Or it could be, I would like teams in five different cities.

And I want to grow to that. 

Measuring whatever your personal goal of success is against what someone else's yard stick is. You're using two completely different measurement systems. 

Here's another thing that I want to remind you about. Comparisonitis and we have all been in this boat. Okay. As an organizer, I go into people's houses, obviously we're in people's houses all the time, and we are in houses in all sorts of neighborhoods. I have one house in particular that I'm thinking about as I tell this story. 

So I go to the house it's in a very beautiful neighborhood, a very beautiful home. And I looked at all the other beautiful homes in that neighborhood. And I just said, you know what? I'm guessing that the neighbors and the other people around, you know, if they're taking a walk around this neighborhood, they have no earthly idea of all of the things that are going on in this house that I'm walking into. I know these things are going on because my clients trust me and our clients trust us. 

And they come to us with very deep things. Right. I know what's happening in this house. I know the family dynamics and I know the stress and I know the marital problems. And I know about all of the chaos that's living underneath this nice exterior. And I remember thinking, oh, I bet every other house in this neighborhood looks at this house and it's like, oh, it's all the same. Guess what. Looking at all those houses. How many of those other houses have chaos going on? 

Probably a lot. So that is the thing that I think about, especially as we're looking at social media is we don't know what's going on behind that photo, right. In the same way that people in the neighborhood don't know what's going on in our client's homes. Usually. So I want you to think of it that way when you're on the comparison train. 

Our brains are so good. At gaslighting, us gaslighting is a word that has gotten a bad rap. But our brains are good at gaslighting us about everyone's doing better than me. I'm behind everyone. if you're in this trap, I want you to find a way to stop. 

I am thrilled when I see other people thriving. Because I really genuinely feel like a rising tide raises all boats and the more people that know about organizing the more people that are exposed to it, the more opportunities there are for all of us. But if you think that I do not have moments. That I look around at other people and I go, oh, look what she's doing. 

 It's easy to do. It's very easy to compare. It's very easy to feel like, oh, I need to do more and more and more and more and more, but that might not be true to who I am and what I actually need. 

So I want to give you this moment to just stop and reflect. And be really honest with yourself and say, do I get struck by comparisonitis. 

It's incredibly normal and natural, especially as we care so much about our businesses. We want them to be successful. We want them to help people. We want them to. You know, meet our goals, make money, whatever our goal is. And so, because we care so much, that's why this comparisonitis is hard because we're like, oh, we just, we mean the best. 

And we want the best out there. Right. And so the comparisonitis comes, I think from a pure heart.

And the main thing that I want you to think about is if you are in one of these modes where you're looking around, maybe things aren't going quite right for you and your business right now, and you're looking around going, everyone else is doing it better than me. I want you to examine whether you're doing that. 

And secondly, the most important thing about this is is it motivating you or is it breaking you down and paralyzing you? Because there are two very distinct paths. This can take. I'm a very competitive person. And so sometimes when I see other people doing something, particularly other people who are coaching organizers, I'm like, oh, look what she's doing. 

That's really smart. I wonder if there's something that I could create for my particular audience and my ideal client. That would make me a better, more valuable coach. I try to use it as inspiration instead of letting it paralyze me. But you need to examine if it is inspirational to you and motivational, if you're like, oh, this is really going to kick my butt to go create something. Cool because I saw this, this thing that inspired me. Versus I'm paralyzed and I'm going to go lie in bed and eat Doritos. 

Um, because I don't know why I just picked Doritos. Maybe I'm hungry, Cheetos, chips, ice cream, whatever. I'm going to lie in bed. And I'm just going to wallow because everyone else is doing better than me. So why do I even bother. That's the statement that I want you to think about where you go, wait, I've got to do something different. And here is what I suggest for the doing something different part. 

Okay. 

Here are some things that I want you to think about doing. So the first one is either unfollowing. You can just straight up unfollow, or if you don't want to unfollow, which I do understand. There is a button on Instagram. That's called mute. You can use the mute button just so it will not feed you people in either your stories or your newsfeed. That people of people who find you find yourself in that comparison trap with. I know a very extremely well adjusted, mentally healthy. Successful organizer who said, I just know that I'm better if I don't follow any organizer that is in my geographic area. And that's better for her because she just knows she doesn't have to see it. By the way I use this strategy with a lot of things. 

Like if there's a text message thread that has upset me, I will just delete it from my phone because I don't want it to, like, I don't want it to be there to remind me right. So this strategy works really well. The not seeing it strategy, or we can call it the blinder strategy, whatever you want, whatever you want to call it. 

But if you're in one of these comparison traps, unfollow, or mute the posts that are really the ones that really kind of set you off, okay. It is not a commentary on how lovely that person is in real life or on, on Instagram. It's not a commentary on their content. It's not a commentary on anything. It is just a, it is better for my brain and my mental health and my business to not see this content. By the way, the reason I suggest muting is there might be a time that you start to feel better. 

And then you're like, all right, you know what? I would really love to see what she's doing. I would love to support her and you can let that content back in, but just give yourself a break. And just give yourself the space and the grace that it just may not be good for you. Okay. 

You can also just take a full-on social media break. 

But let's say you're like, Melissa, you are not going to convince me to take social media break. It's not realistic, or I don't want to, or any of the other, these other things here is an idea for you. 

If you find yourself in the comparisonitis trap and or if you find yourself just scrolling a lot or whatever that looks like. This is a trick that I personally swear by. Meta has a business page management tool. I will link it in the show notes where you can aggregate all of your business properties. 

That includes Instagram and Facebook. It includes your DMs, it includes your messages. It includes comments. So theoretically you could post something on Instagram and then never have to open the Instagram app to actually moderate it. You know, if you want to reply to comments, which is always a nice thing to do that, that type of thing. 

And if you don't want to miss DMS, You can do that all on your desktop. I always do it on my desktop. I'm sure they have an app too. But you can do all of that without actually having to go to Instagram. In order to post, you can do a couple things. One, you can schedule content ahead of time and just post it on Instagram using the scheduling tool, or you can use another tool. 

I personally likePlanoly. Will link that in the show notes too. But you can actually post again without going on Instagram and then use the Meta business tool to do all of the interaction and engagement work that you want to without having to scroll another great option for you. 

If you really are finding yourself on the struggle bus with it. The other thing I want you to do, and I want to be clear. I'm not telling you anything that I don't personally do myself. So, if you want to look at the time that you're spending on things that don't move the needle in your business. And by the way, this just is not, does not just include social media. 

It includes really everything on your phone. I am definitely a person that spends too much time attached to my phone and I've been trying to be better about it. It's hard. They make these devices addictive, literally addictive. And so I find myself sometimes like, oh, I didn't get as much accomplished today as I want to. 

Why is that? I can go to my screen time and be like, well, Melissa, I have a couple ideas. Why you didn't accomplish everything today. Okay. If you are finding yourself in a little bit of that spiral of lack of productivity, and you're taking time away from useful things on your business, you can look at your screen time, which has, you know, sometimes a painful exercise, but you can do that and determine, wow. I spent, how much should I have on Instagram? Um, the other thing that I've done for myself lately, which I advise, I have an iPhone, I'm sure Android does this too, but there are app limits that you can set. 

For instance, I have a set limit for myself on a few apps that I can tend to get stuck on. And so at the end of whatever limit you put on yourself for that day, at the end of it, it will say you've reached your limit on this app. Now it gives you some choices and you can choose to say, okay, I can't use that app anymore. 

I'm going to limit myself to the, to the time limit that I've set. It will also give you an option that says, give me another 15 minutes. So let's say you're legitimately working on something or it's fun time and you just feel like scrolling a little more. It will say, ignore this message. For 15 minutes, it will also give you a choice to ignore this message until the end of the day. So you get to make a choice then about your usage, but I use it as a tool for myself to regulate a little bit of. 

Oh wow. I didn't realize I had spent an hour I need to hop off and be productive. So, these are just a few things that I recommend specifically to get out of that comparison. I just trap, especially if you're getting it from social media. If your comparisonitis trap is based on something else, maybe it's other people you're talking to or a networking group. Or people that you're seeing, I just want you to stop and think what about this are my triggers? 

What are some of the things that could send me into those spirals? And then I like to figure out how I can take actions on things that are bothering me or that I am choosing to let bother me. So I will just say, this is bugging me. What useful things can I do over here to move myself forward or do something different? I might contact an accountability partner and just be like, Hey, I'm stuck in this. 

I'm stuck in this rut. Like. Kick me out of it. Right. I have a wonderful, wonderful woman I've talked about. She's actually been on the podcast a few times. Um, she is a friend who runs a styling business and she's very much a person that I will run to and be like, oh my gosh, I'm having a moment. And I need you to get me out of it. 

What happens is you get stuck in a cycle and then you realize you are not actually taking action yourself to fix the problem that you're having. 

All right. So that is what I want to say about comparisonitis just to reminder. The things you see on social or otherwise are never telling you the full story. It doesn't necessarily mean that everything is perfect and wonderful. Do not let it get you into a point where then you are not making forward progress to your own goals, because you're busy thinking about what everyone else is doing. Then take the time to figure out how you can get out. 

If you are stuck in the comparisonitis trap, how can you get out of it? Whether it is stopping, looking at social media, if that's where the comparison starts or figuring out what those, what those trigger points are for you and trying to eliminate those as much as possible and reminding yourself. Every minute that you spend working on your own business. Is better for you. 

All right. This is going up on October 3rd. And what that means is there are three great. Full months left in the year to work on stuff. So I want you to think about your strategy for the next three months. And what often happens in this time of year is people including clients start to slow down a little bit, you know, again, we're going into the holiday season. Uh, but I want you to think about a few things that you can offer to people. First thing is, uh, Obviously I live in the U S I can only speak for the U S but, um, Halloween decorating is starting to be like a much, much more significant thing here. 

So you've got kind of three distinct periods. You've got the Halloween decorating season than some people do some sort of like Thanksgiving November-ish decorating. Then we have the holiday season where there are, of course, massive decorations, almost everywhere. I really always recommend the people branch out and think about what other services analogous organizing services they can offer. 

 Think about offering decor, put up and take down. This is a great revenue source for a lot of people and if decorating is not your jam, totally fine. Don't offer this, but think about offering. Holiday decor organization. 

So tell people we're going into a high day core season is your decor a mess? Let me come organize that for you. If you want to branch out into decor. I personally love this and I know a lot of other organizers do start setting up appointments for this in the fall. You can help them Halloween decorate. 

You can take down Halloween decorations, you can put up harvest decorations, and then you can put up Christmas or other holiday decorations for them. Then set up times that you can come take all that stuff down. It is a great opportunity to really broaden your skills, broaden your horizons a little bit. 

It's great for a team, especially for people that have huge, you know, we all have those clients that have boatloads of decorations. That you can help take down. So just a reminder that there are other things you can be focusing on this season. The other thing that you can really push to people from your email list and any other place that you were doing, marketing word of mouth, social media, otherwise. You can really start talking about, Hey, are you going to be hosting a lot of people over the holiday season? 

I'd love to help you get your house in order so that you are not doing the shove, everything into a closet, which just creates more problems down the road, starting to think about , what is the season that we're going into and what services could I and or my team offer that will help people as they move into the busiest time of the year. 

A lot of times for people. So. Don't also forget any other analogous things. If you are an organizer that offers concierge services, also think about a present shopping, present, wrapping. Um, anything like that? I know that these are not organizing specific, but there are a lot of organizers, myself included who liked to branch out in our services. 

And it's a great thing to focus on. 

Once you come up with these new services or just re re announcing all of these services that you do offer to your clients. I want you to think about how to get the word out about that. If it's been a while, since you've emailed your list, send an email. I don't care if there are five people on it, send that email to your list, put things out into your network. 

If you have prior clients, or if you have current clients that you're working with, you're like, Hey. I just want to let you know I'm offering holiday decorating and holiday organizing if you're ever interested, or if you have friends. You know, let's say you're in a neighborhood that clearly it's a big decorating neighborhood. 

Maybe talk to current clients and be like, Hey, do you have any neighbors that are like really big decorators? Let them know. I'm helping people organize decor and I'm helping people decorate this year. Whatever. I get that word out. I'm gonna remind you again. I'm gonna say it again. If you haven't sent any mail out in a while, this is a great thing to send out an email. 

October, there are three months left in the year. I also want you to think about what are the major things I want to accomplish before the end of the year. If there are things that you want to go into January having locked and loaded, maybe you want to set up a CRM. Uh, maybe you want to change CRMs. 

Maybe you want to change your processes, your systems, your pricing. Think about the plan for that and make sure that you are ready to launch January 1st for all of those new year's resolutions. And that you are ready to go on the back end. You will future you will. Thank you. That you did this work in October. The other thing that I'm going to tell you about October, you can go back. 

I'll have to look, I'll put it in the show notes. Um, I'll link it in the show notes, but I did a podcast. Um, A long time ago with a client and a friend of mine who does this thing called boss October. And it's like one of my favorite concepts in the last few years, she actually texted me on October 1st and was like it's boss October. 

And I hadn't heard from her in a while. So it was really good to hear from her and that she's still doing boss October, but the concept is. You spend the month of October shoring up all of the things in your life. So for her. Uh, she's not an entrepreneur, she's a doctor, but she checks her insurance. 

She makes sure, make sure her insurance is up to date. She, does price checks on, like her TV and our internet or things like that. She makes sure that her house insurance policy is set up correctly. She, um, you know, does like stuff around the house, looks around the house and figures out like, Hey, do I have projects to do in the house? 

She sets medical appointments. If she hasn't sent them all of these things. Just to make the rest of her year, much easier. One that I would recommend is check all the things that you have subscriptions for. Like, do you have subscriptions for things that you don't use? I got a notification yesterday that, oh, you have a new credit on audible. 

I'm like, oh my gosh, I need to cancel that because I get my books from the library, whatever. Boss October, go back to that, uh, podcast. It was one of my favorite podcasts just because also I love Leah. She's so great. But it's a great concept and she really goes through what she does in this month and I think it could be helpful for you 

Those are your stream of consciousness. 

Thoughts for October. As I'm recording this, I'm like, wow. I'll have to find out in editing if any of us made sense, but I hope it did. 

One thing I will leave you with is if there is something that you are struggling with in your business, whether you have been in business for 15 minutes or 15 years or everywhere in between or beyond. I have tools that can help you. With your business, I can help you find clients. I can help you get your foundation shored up. 

I can help you grow your business. What it wants to be. If you do not know about the services that we offer. If you do not know what the groups are that we have, if you want to know the difference between inspired organizer and organizing essentials, if you have anything that you would like to talk out with me. I would love to chat with you. There will be a link in the show notes to schedule a 15 minute zoom with me. 

Or if you don't want to scroll in the show notes, just go to proorganizerstudio.com/book. And you will be able to book a chat with me.

To talk through where you are in your business and how I might be able to help you. And I would love for you to book one of those. Also, I will be talking about this more, but our inspired organizer program is going to be going through some changes. And as one thing, I tell people all the time, raise your prices. I am going to practice what I preach. 

So the price of Inspired Organizer is going to go up in a couple of weeks. I'll be talking about it a little bit more, but this is the time for you to get in. So if you want to through what inspired organizer can do for you. I would love to talk to you. 

All right. I hope you guys have an absolutely amazing weekend and I will see you next week! Bye organizers. 

I have a brand new free workshop called how professional organizers can get clients without using social media. It is available on demand 24 seven at poroadmap.Com. That is a wrap on this week's pro organizer studio podcast. I will see you next week. Have a great day, organizers!

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